Isn’t it crazy the kind of impact those three little words have? It can sweep you off the floor or shake you to the core. When a guy says I love you over text or in person, it can even leave you breathless. It’s a phrase that can’t be thrown around lightly because it carries a lot of meaning and depth to it. However, you can’t be sure about his feelings and intent if he said I love you for the first time over text.
You are at a loss for words and you don’t know how to deal with the situation. You don’t know if he is being serious, if he’s being friendly, or if he is just trying to get into your pants. To help you ease your current predicament, let’s find out the meaning behind his message and what to say when someone says I love you over text.
When A Guy Says I Love You Over Text — What Does It Mean?
When you meet someone new, the first few weeks are laced with excitement and anticipation. In an attempt to get to know each other better, you both start texting constantly. And bam! There it is. He drops the L-word. An important reason for confessing your love over text is sensitivity to rejection. It’s a lot less overwhelming and feels a lot safer to be rejected through text than in person. But there are other reasons too. And it’s time to clear your confusion.
Related Reading: How Guys Text When They Like You – We Give You 15 Clues
1. It’s the love hormones talking
Oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine are all often referred to as “love hormones.” When you meet someone new and find yourself drawn toward them, these three feel-good hormones go bonkers. According to research, when you are falling in love:
- Your brain releases dopamine
- Your serotonin levels increase
- Oxytocin is produced
These hormones are the reason that you feel a surge of positive emotions when you are attracted to someone. If he said I love you for the first time over text, then it’s because of these hormones. If you want to find out how he really feels, wait for a couple of months and see how he still feels about you.
2. He is too shy to confess in person
If he said I love you for the first time over text and you’ve been dating him for a while, then it could be because of his shy nature. Here are some more signs of his love if you aren’t sure about a shy guy’s feelings for you over text:
- He is quick to respond to your texts
- He sends you good morning and good night text messages
- He sends you funny, relatable, and romantic memes
- He checks up on you from time to time
- He is curious about your life and asks questions to get to know you better
- He opens up to you over text
- He encourages you to do the same
- He remembers tiny details about you
- He compliments you on your no-filter or no-makeup selfies
3. He is genuinely in love with you
If your long-term boyfriend randomly texts I love you, it means he really loves you and has no intention of breaking up with you. He isn’t holding his feelings back because he believes in the power of words of affirmation and the constant reassurance of love. He wants to keep the relationship alive by expressing his admiration for you.
Research in neurobiology shows that emotional safety is one of the most important aspects of a satisfying connection in a loving relationship. Humans need to feel secure to keep a relationship strong. If he really loves you through text, he will say affirming words like “I love you” and “You’re amazing” to cultivate mutual emotional safety with you.
4. He wants to have a physical relationship with you
A study from the University of Michigan has found that some men say “I love you” in order to gain a woman’s trust to have sex for the first time. The catch here is that this move could be a conscious or an unconscious attempt from the guy’s side.
If you really want to know what it means when a guy says I love you over text, it could be because he wants to have a physical relationship with you. If your gut is telling you the same and you don’t want to have a sexual relationship with him, you can let him know that you are not interested in him sexually.
5. He wants to take things forward
Each relationship progresses over time. When a guy says I love you over text, he is trying to imply that he wants to take your relationship to the next level. Here are some examples:
- If you were casually dating him, then perhaps he wants to date you exclusively
- If the two of you were dating exclusively, then maybe he wants to move in with you
- Maybe he wants to introduce you to his family
6. He sees a future with you
This is a biggie! If your boyfriend randomly texts I love you all the time, it’s a clear sign he sees a future with you. He wants to share his life with you. If you want to be sure before saying it back, here are some sureshot signs your man wants to build a future together:
- He isn’t afraid of commitment
- He has already introduced you to his friends and family
- He deeply cares about you, your thoughts, opinions, and perspectives
- He trusts you
- He is an open book and doesn’t hesitate to be vulnerable with you
- He makes you feel prioritized privately and among others
- He appreciates your presence in his life
- He respects your boundaries
7. He meant it platonically
A platonic friendship is where two people have a good friendship where there is no sexual activity whatsoever. They aren’t dating or in love with one another either. When a guy says I love you through text, it could just be platonic. He adores you as a friend and wants you to know that. In this case, if you feel the same way, you can just say it back.
Related Reading: 12 Signs That Say Your Best Friend Is In Love With You
What To Do When A Guy Says I Love You Over Text
Now that we know what he means by those words, you are wondering: How do you respond to I love you without saying it back? This depends on how you feel about it. Do you love him romantically? Do you want to get to know him better? Or do you have zero romantic feelings toward him? We can help you out here.
1. What to do if you like him?
What to say when someone says I love you over text? If you find yourself falling for his charm and caring nature, then you can say it back. You can start with something as simple as “I like you” for the first time and then build it up to “I love you” a few days later. You can ask him to meet you and the two of you can confess your feelings in person. Falling in love is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful experiences ever. Don’t let that go to waste by hiding your emotions for him or playing hard to get.
Is it weird to say I love you over text, though? When asked on Reddit, a user replied, “It can be just as special over the phone as in person, so just say it if you feel it. I remember when my girlfriend first told me over the phone and I said it back. It was just as impactful for me to hear those words as it would have been in person.”
2. What to do if you don’t like him back?
Is it weird to say I love you over text? A little, if your feelings aren’t reciprocated but it’s better than facing rejection in person. So, when someone says I love you but you don’t love them back, it’s best to reply to that text as soon as you can. There is no point in leading them on as it will seriously hurt them down the lane. However, you can be gentle with your response. Here are some things to say if you don’t love him back:
- I really care about you but I don’t see us being in a romantic relationship
- You are an amazing person but I am not looking to be in a relationship at the moment. Can we please stay friends?
- Thank you for telling me that, it’s so flattering. But I am sorry, I don’t feel the same way about you
- I’m sorry, I don’t have the same feelings for you. I hope you understand. If you don’t want us to be friends, I completely understand. I will respect your decision
3. What to do when you are unsure?
When you love him, you know what to do. You know what to do when you don’t love him as well. But what to do when you are unsure about your feelings? That’s where it gets tricky. You want to keep talking to him but you are also confused about taking things to the next level.
If you are not sure about him, ask him to give you a little more time to reach a conclusion. Till then, you can hang out with him as friends and get to know him better. Once you are sure that you like him romantically or platonically, you can be clear in your response and let him know how you want to take things further.
- When a guy says I love you over text, it’s usually because he genuinely does love you and wants to remind you of his love
- On the other hand, if he said I love you for the first time over text, it could be because he is shy, because he feels it was the right moment, or even because he wants to sleep with you
- If you love him back, you can confess your feelings. If you don’t, then don’t lead him on
If you don’t know what to say when someone says I love you over text, you can try to alleviate the awkwardness by telling them you need some time to respond and then talking about something else. You don’t have to let awkwardness ruin a great friendship.