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How to spot the signs of a cheating girlfriend? On one hand, you have this gut feeling that something is not right. But there is another voice inside your head that tells you that maybe you are just overthinking and being paranoid.
In such cases, you may end up feeling like Sherlock Holmes, trying to investigate and analyze every move your partner makes. But, spoiler alert! You are not Cumberbatch. You don’t own a trench coat and you don’t play the violin. You don’t have a Watson and so you definitely need some expert tips to help you figure out if you have an unfaithful girlfriend or not.
If questions like “Why do I feel like she’s cheating on me?” are already weighing on your mind, something must be out of tune in the relationship. We’re here to help, with insights from communication and relationship coach Swaty Prakash, who has a decade-long experience in training individuals of varied age groups to deal with their emotional health.
22 Sure Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend
Cheating in relationships or marriage is not uncommon at all. In fact, in the United States, a study shows that 20% of married couples are likely to encounter infidelity. Meanwhile, 70% of unmarried couples may have to deal with cheating in the course of their relationship.
But how do you know your girlfriend is cheating? After all, a ‘gut feeling’ is not enough proof to confront her. We’re here to help you. Here are some signs she cheated and feels guilty:
Related Reading: 18 Warning Signs Of A Cheating Wife You Cannot Ignore
1. Has replaced granny panties by sexy lingerie
According to Swaty, “How we look is very important for us humans. And if we are in a romantic relationship, it becomes one of the prime facets to worry about. Have you noticed how our pupils dilate or we start playing with our hair when we are near someone we like? Even our subconscious works on making us look prettier and even smell better.”
“Now, this couldn’t be the only sign of a cheating girl but, if looked at with a lot of other cues in place, it does indicate cheating. Also, if she is putting extra effort into how she looks but doesn’t really bother about your feedback, it obviously indicates that it is for someone or something else,” she says.
- Granny panties have been suddenly replaced by sexy lingerie
- She has new hobbies like hitting the gym, doing yoga, and eating healthy
- She’s a wearing a different perfume, a little over-the-top makeup, or a gorgeous dress
2. Even your breathing irritates her
Swaty says, “Nature has a strange way of inducing feelings of love and romance in humans. When you first start liking someone, your brain releases such hormones that you are blinded in love. You refuse to see anything wrong/repulsive in the other person. But this is unnatural/unlikely to continue in the long run. Moving forward, this effect wears off and your inherent likes/dislikes come to the fore.”
“All relationships go through a phase when partners start finding faults with each other. However, this is a gradual process. But if there is a new man, the process becomes accelerated. You are no longer patient in the relationship. Irritation escalates. What looked cute earlier turns out to be absolutely irritating now. While you start liking everything about that new partner, a little too much looks wrong with your partner suddenly”, she explains.
3. Evasive body language
What are the telltale signs of cheaters? Relationship coach Pooja Priyamvada says, “Evasive body language is a sure-shot sign she’s cheating. A lying partner will avoid eye contact, fiddle, fumble, and try to make some excuses.” People’s lips become pale and their faces become white/red when they lie. In spite of all their pretended ease, their body language will have a different story to tell.
How to know if your girl is cheating on you? Take this quick quiz:
- Do you notice hesitation in her speech? Yes/No
- Does she blink rapidly or sweat while trying to come up with a believable story to cover her tracks? Yes/No
- Do you often find her avoiding eye contact while talking to you? Yes/No
- Do you find her restless or fidgety when she talks to you? Yes/No
If you have answered in the affirmative to the above questions, chances are that you have an unfaithful girlfriend. Paying close attention to her body language (like their voice suddenly cracking or becoming high-pitched) is one way to tell if your girlfriend is cheating.
Related Reading: Top 10 Hollywood Movies About Cheating In A Relationship
4. Carries her devices around like a limb
Sam, a banker in his 30s, says, “I think my girlfriend is cheating but I can’t prove it. In the past, there were no secrets between us. She used to share her computer with me or ask me to check the texts for her. But now, she shuts her laptop every time I enter the room, never sends text messages in front of me, goes out of the room to answer her phone, and has even locked her mobile with a new password.”
Here are a few signs of a cheating woman to watch out for:
- She has started password-protecting their devices all of a sudden
- Her phone is always kept face down
- She goes to a corner to pick up some calls/Does not pick up calls when you are around
- She gets defensive and angrily says, “How dare you look at my email?”
- She hides her texts from you
- She carries her devices around like a limb, lest you chance upon something they don’t want you to
If your partner has been displaying most of these tendencies, there is a good chance you are caught in the thick of lies cheaters tell. Cheaters are not just protective about their devices but about certain places too. For example, “You shouldn’t just show up at my workplace” or “Hey, this is my woman cave. Don’t touch anything here and respect my privacy”.
5. Her guilt is making her overcompensate
A Reddit user wrote, “She cheated with her ex for months until he told. She got caught and didn’t stop on her own. Now she love bombs and spends every second with me and posts me everywhere. It’s been a month. Will she really change or just go back?”
So, one of the characteristics of a cheating woman is love bombing. She doesn’t know where to put all that guilt and hence spends money on you to make up for it. If she’s gifting you new clothes all the time, that’s suspicious behavior.
6. Her personality has changed
Swaty says, “Personality changes vary (depending on the types of cheaters) but the partners will feel an air of change in them. They may look happier and more content without depending on the other person. They would look forward to going out alone, even to the office to escape from their partner.
“An otherwise talkative and expressive individual may become distant and secretive, not keen on discussing their lives outside the home, and remain mostly busy on their phones. They start taking better care of themselves, notice their boyfriends much less and try to evade topics that involve too much future planning or even reminiscing about the good old days.”
7. Has a new friend circle
Andrew, 22, says, “I have been noticing that Sarah cannot stop talking about a woman named Catie, whom she apparently met at the gym. All her movie dates, night outs, and shopping sprees now involve her new best friend. She even stayed a couple of nights at Catie’s in the name of girls’ night. But strangely, I never get to meet her or see a single picture of them together. Relationship red flag? I think so!” Hence, if she suddenly has an overwhelming social life, it’s one of the signs your girl is cheating on you.
8. Is distant during intimate moments
Swaty says, “Guilt has a way of playing at the most unpopular places. For a lot of people, it could mean compensating for their wrongs by being more active in their physical relationship. Sometimes, to compensate for what they are seemingly doing ‘wrong’ to their partners, they try to improve the sexual relationship. However, I have chosen the word ‘sexual’ because they might not show the same level of physical affection in day-to-day life.
“On the other hand, a lot of people might show a decreased level of physical intimacy because they do not find the partner attractive anymore or because their minds are totally involved with the other person. They might seem quite distant and emotionally away even during intimate moments. So while the spectrum of change in intimacy types is quite wide, one thing is sure, intimacy changes drastically when there is an affair going on.”
9. Always has errands to run
Pooja advises, “When a girl cheats on you, there will be a lot of time unaccounted for in her schedule.” To ascertain if your hunch about your partner lying to you has any merit to it, ask yourself:
- Does she have a hectic schedule with no time to spend with you?
- Do you often hear complaints of an increased workload?
- Are her office meetings getting stretched late into the night?
- Does she always have errands to run?
If you find her working overtime or coming home late almost every night because she was busy “helping out a buddy in crisis”, it could be one of the clues that your girlfriend is cheating.
10. She is a great storyteller
The signs of her cheating can be spotted in her storytelling skills. Telling lies is not everyone’s cup of tea. One way that many people use is to describe an event minute by minute to make it sound believable. Watch out for these lies:
- She gives you excruciating amount of detail (what her friends were wearing, what they were uploading as stories etc)
- You observe her exaggerating a simple story
- She’s always beating around the bush when you ask her about where she was
11. Your schedule piques her interest
If your girlfriend cheats on you, she will keep constant tabs on your schedule because, obviously, she wants to avoid getting caught in the act. She will keep asking you about your whereabouts. If you want to catch a cheating partner, try giving her a false sense of security by telling her that you’re busy and then show up at her door to ‘surprise’ her. The skeletons will come tumbling out of the closet.
12. Being flirty with others in your presence
If you notice your girlfriend flirting with others, like your friends or colleagues in your presence, then it means that she does not respect your feelings. It might also mean that she is having an affair with one of them behind your back. Maybe, she is just not mature enough to be in a relationship right now.
13. She keeps hinting about breakup
Even though she cannot directly reveal about her affair, she will give you subtle hints that she wants to break up. She will keep highlighting the differences between you two, which did not bother her earlier but now they do. Arguing over silly matters will become frequent. One of the warning signs of a cheating girlfriend in a long-distance relationship is when she tries her best to show you that there are no signs of relationship compatibility between you and her anymore.
14. Gaslights you
You know it’s the classic ‘girlfriend cheating on boyfriend’ case when she tells you that you’re imagining things. Also, she will blame YOU for making her do this. As a result, you will start questioning your sanity. She will manipulate you to such an extent that you will start doubting yourself. Gaslighting in relationships is a classic tactic used to cover up compulsive cheating and lying.
A Reddit user wrote, “The Narcissist’s Prayer is a perfect example of gaslighting: That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, You deserved it.”
15. Your family and friends no longer matter to her
The people who are close to you are no longer important to her because you have lost that valuable place in her life. She’s losing feelings for you and, therefore, people close to you start to matter less to her. You should mark falling out of love as one of the signs of a cheating girlfriend. In addition, since she is guilty of being in a relationship with someone else apart from you, she will avoid meeting your family and friends at all costs.
Related Reading: What Questions Should I Ask My Girlfriend About Her Ex?
16. Remember, eyes don’t lie
You might say, “I think she cheated on me but I can’t prove it.” Well, the signs she’s cheating over text are hard to catch. Instead, look deep into her eyes. If your partner truly loves you, she would be confident enough to express her feelings while making direct eye contact. But, if she avoids looking you in the eye, then it could mean that she is cheating or probably she will cheat.
17. You both fail to communicate with each other
Explaining why infidelity leads to poor communication, Swaty says, “How we communicate says a lot about how we feel. In the case of probable infidelity, communication is, more often than not, the first victim. There will be a sudden decrease in quality time when two partners express their hearts out and discuss the boring mundane days with enthusiasm.
“She would like to keep it all to herself and not discuss much of her life with you now. Meanwhile, she would be emotionally uninvolved when you are trying to communicate with her. Eye contact becomes less and her display of affection in public or private becomes rigid. Her body language would not be as open as it was earlier. Questions like “How was your day?” or “When would you be home?” are met with curt, indecisive, and non-committal responses.”
18. She goes MIA
Life skills coach Dr.Juuhi Raai points out, “One day, she is happy with you and spends the entire day and night in your arms. Then suddenly, she doesn’t return your calls/texts and doesn’t come back home.” Hence, one of the warning signs of a cheating girlfriend is that she keeps ghosting you every now and then.
19. She is always texting someone
Besides going to the hallway to talk in a hushed tone, her texting game never seizes. If your girlfriend too can’t seem to stay away from her phone for a little while, chances are someone else is keeping her busy day and night.
When my friend Eric found out about his girlfriend cheating on him, he mentioned something very similar. He said, “I was tired of having a relationship with the shadow of a person who existed somewhere behind that screen. She was never present in any of our conversations with her full attention. She could not even leave her phone before coming to dinner, which was solely our time to talk about our days and enjoy each other’s company.”
20. Her closed ones get uncomfortable around you
Chances are that someone in her life is privy to all that she has been trying to hide from you. Perhaps, she confides in her best friend to cope with the cheater’s guilt that’s overwhelming her. Or maybe her sibling or cousin covers for her when needed. How can you spot the signs of affair? Notice the behaviors of their close friends or family members.
- Are they treating you differently?
- Do they get uncomfortable around you?
- Do they avoid you or display negative emotions toward you?
- Are they increasingly becoming indifferent to you?
- Do you find them disengaging or distancing themselves from you?
If the answer is yes, then it could be because they already know the uncomfortable truth.
Related Reading: 10 Telltale Signs You Are Not Ready For A Serious, Committed Relationship
21. She has trouble expressing her love
At the beginning of the relationship, your girlfriend might have had no issues in expressing her love and saying “I love you” at least ten times a day. But now that she finds it difficult to express her feelings of love, she might be guilty of cheating on you. She may even fail to respond to your words of love and affection promptly and earnestly. This is one of the signs of a cheating girlfriend and cheater’s guilt.
22. Your gut feeling tells you something is fishy
Your gut knows something is amiss. This is because your heart senses something even when your brain does not. Remember, intuition rarely ever goes wrong. So, if you think your girlfriend is cheating, she probably is.
As soon as you get evidence and catch a cheating girlfriend, you should make it a point to confirm it by confronting her directly. Once you are able to hear her confession, you must make a decision as to whether you want to let her go or whether forgiveness in relationships matters more to you. The future of your relationship will depend on your decision. Therefore, choose your course of action wisely.
FAQs
There are a few signs to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you. If you notice that she has mood swings, takes drastic decisions, isn’t caring anymore, avoids intimacy, and tries to keep a tab on your schedule, know that these are signs of a cheating girlfriend.
You could confront her about cheating and she could deny it vehemently. But she continues to hang out with her new girl best friend whom you have never met, is always late from work, and smiles when that “special friend” messages. These are signs that your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you.
There will be signs that your girl is cheating on you in a long-distance relationship. In a long-distance relationship, a cheating girl will not want to make time for your travel plans, could be telling you she is working late most days and hanging out with new friends, none of whom you know or have met.
Physical signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you include hickeys, which you suddenly spot on her neck or chest, her reluctance to be naked in front of you, and her new lacy lingerie that you do not get to see her in. She might also be unwilling to get physically intimate with you.
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